Traveling is great.  Getting ready to travel can be a pain in the ass.  This is where you all collectively sigh and say, “Oh poor baby!”  We are leaving in less than seven hours and I still have to load the bike and take a crap before I can go to bed.  Damn, too much information again.  Hey a reminder for you all regarding minor motorcycle maintenance.  If you insist on checking your tire pressure after returning home from a short ride to top off your gas tank it is a good idea to roll the tire so the valve stem is not evenly lined up with the exhaust pipe.  When I burned the back of my hand I lunged forward and burned my knuckles on the brake rotor.  Smooth huh.  Yeah, well at least I wasn’t wearing shorts. 

          My son Clayton is thriving in DC.  He went to visit a comedy shop last Sunday and got up as an amateur walk on and tried his hand at telling a joke.  The owner liked him and asked him to come back the next Sunday and be a part of 10 local amateurs who are allowed a three minute act.  He is pumped.  He has his act down and performed it for me on the telephone last night.  Damn, that kid is funny.  He must get it from his mom.  Anyway, they video tape the show and (hey, this is a good idea) then they sell them to the performers.  I have an order in for a copy and as soon as I can get my hands on it I will do my best to put it up on the web here. 

          Guess what?  I’m pretty sure there is no way in Hades that I will be able to fit a sleeping bag on my ride.  Sorry, I tried.  I guess the fella’s can camp if they want to.  This cat is going Super 8 all the way.  Do I know how to live or what?  I’ll still bring that flashlight I mentioned in yesterdays post.  That will come in handy if I get scared in a motel all by myself.   

          Hey, I got a lot to do and not much time left soooo…. Next time you hear from me I’ll be almost all the way across Nebraska!  Yee Hah!  Hey one thing is for sure.  I gotta give the Huskers their props on the freeway.  They get out and go.  It won’t be like driving across a God-forsaken state like, hmm, lets see, like OHIO!  See ya!

          The lawn is mowed; a key has been dropped off with the neighbor with instructions for tending to my daughters attack cat, Mike, and the last load of laundry is spinning out in the washing machine.  Such are necessary tasks in preparation for a six AM departure for 15 days of living on the Harley.  The fella’s threw a little curve at me tonight.  I guess I should have seen it coming.  They had referenced the C word a couple times over the last month but I suppose I was in denial.  They actually have interest in doing a little camping on this run.  Shit.  Don’t get me wrong I don’t have anything against camping, other people camping that is.  I’ve done a lot of it and I suppose if there is a way to quantify camping I am good at it but as I have gotten older it has become less and less appealing unless the camping is the purpose and the mindset of the whole outing.  There is a lot to be said for the private porcelain toilets, hot water showers and free wireless internet of motel rooms in my way of thinking.  I’ve agreed to take my sleeping bag and a flashlight but it is now the single biggest goal of the entire trip for me not to unroll that damn bag.  Wish me luck and check back here daily to see if the Guru is victorious over Gimp and Gizmo.

          Yep, it seems we have finally gone over the edge.  We are referring to ourselves as the G Men now.  Our pet G names seemed to fit well and hell, all good little biker gang members need to have cool nick names.  While not quite as bold of names as No Mind, Shit Licker, or Skid Mark I think Guru, Gimp and Gizmo work out okay for us.  So it goes.

          What I can promise you we won’t see fifty miles outside of any metro area: Choppers.  While all the rage since Orange County Choppers and Biker Build-Off became hit TV shows you just don’t see those cool guy chopper riders out on the road.  But hey, they look cool in town going from bar to bar and if that is what their vision of being a biker is, well then more power to 'em.  I would imagine we will see a few of them on our return trip.  We will be riding past Sturgis but will be a bit early for the big event.  We are bound to see some early arrivals rolling that way in the back of pickup trucks or on trailers.  One of my favorite T-shirts sold at many biker week festivities is “I rode mine to Trailer Week” That and the classic T-shirt back that says, “If you can read this, the bitch fell off” have always appealed to me.  Guys with nick names like No Mind can get those kinds of T-shirts.  Guys with nick names like Guru are afraid of what their wife would say.

          What I can promise you I hope we won’t see fifty miles outside of any metro area: Guys riding Harleys and wearing shorts.  In case you hadn’t noticed from previous posts I hate that.  Nothing screams woosie louder to me than a guy who wears shorts on his Harley.  Something about the mamby pamby attitude of (read with a whiney voice) “It’s too hot out to wear long pants” causes me to roll my eyes and dismiss such individuals as worthy riding partners.  I have instilled this generalization deep into the souls of all my children.  My six year old son refers to short wearing Harley riders as Twinkies, my 18 year old son knows to shun them and my eighteen year old daughter knows that if I ever caught her riding behind a guy wearing shorts on a Harley that I would have to kill him.  But hey, what do I know.

          I put a link to an important video at the top of the page and will leave it there for a week.  Please watch it.  If it makes sense to you would you please ask your friends to visit the site and watch it?  The object of the fight in the war on terror is to not let the terrorists win.  We are reminded of that over and over.  When we start changing our lifestyles and changing our values because we are afraid of terrorism then we are in fact terrorized.  They win.  America stands for ideals of liberty, truth and justice and we the people understand that and do a good job of trying to live up to those ideals.  This video will show you some areas where our Government is not upholding those ideals very well.  It is important that you are aware so that when the opportunity comes you can send the message that you expect more from our leaders.  God Bless ya all.  See ya tomorrow.

          I just returned home from my dinner with long lost buddy and roommate Bob and his lovely bride Cindy.  It was fun recalling some of our ill spent youth and catching up with what life is like with kids and all that kind of stuff.  Bob is still easy going, charming and quick to smile.  He has been living life in California for about the last 25 years.  It seems to agree with him.  When we talked about the appreciation of real estate in California and what he could buy with the proceeds were he ever to return to Iowa there was a knowing twinkle in his eye.  Just remember Bob, it gets COLD here, really cold here.  In the back of my mind I wondered if he really remembers what it is like to go outside on those mornings where your car is actually froze to the ground. 

          As we departed Bob asked me to wait for a second and ran to his vehicle.  He presented me with a bottler of Meridian Chardonnay which is a California Vineyard product.  As appreciated as the wine is the very cool wine tote that it was delivered in.  You know, Bob always was a better friend than I deserved at times.  He was and is good people.  The company motto on the wine bottle says, “Experience Meridian, Experience California”.  So here is what I am going to do.  I leave for California three days.  I’ve never been there before.  When I return from that trip and get a chance to relax after my ass and arms quit vibrating I’m going to open that bottle, toast Bob and savor each sip.  As I enjoy that first glass I will let my mind reflect on my first visit to California and interlace those memories with the memories of a dear friend whom I hope I will see again before another 25 years passes.

          Bob is an occasional reader of the Red Hog Diary and mentioned that he didn’t remember me being so political.  Actually, I’m surprised either of us remembers much of anything from those crazy days but I agreed.   It got me to pondering plausible persuasions pertaining to my personal political proclivities and I predict in all probability a perplexing prospective post.  So I got that going for me.

The separation of powers and the checks and balances provided by that separation is the core of our constitution and the brightest selling point to emerging democracies around the world.  Yet what we have witnessed recently in America is a seemingly insatiable groping of power by the executive branch as they attempt to invoke their version of democracy into an ancient land.  This executive claim for power is manipulatively hidden under the cloak of the war on terror while tarnishing the very principles that give democracy its luster.  Every step taken to concentrate executive branch powers dims the light of democracy for those countries struggling to find their way out of the dark.  This administration reminds me of the Star Wars scene where Princess Leia who represents civil libertarians everywhere says to Frand Moff Tarkin, Death Star Commander representing Exxon and George Bush and she says, “The more you tighten your grip the more star systems will slip through your fingers.”  If you think about that scene that would mean Dick Cheney is Darth Vader. 

          The separation of powers in the United States reside in the legislative branch with their power to make the law, the judicial branch with the power to enforce the law and the executive branch with the responsibility of enforcing the law.  The first three articles of the Constitution define the powers given to the separate powers of our government.  Article I defines the Congress, Article II defines the executive branch and Article III defines the judiciary.  So the way this is all supposed to work is with an overlapping oversight where the executive branch can veto legislative action or the judiciary can review the constitutionality of legislation if challenged in court. 

          A recent example of executive power abuse was specifically addressed by the Supreme Court in a June 29^th ruling that the president overstepped his constitutional authority by creating ad hoc military tribunals for prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.  The 5-3 decision, written by Justice John Paul Stevens with an important concurrence by Justice Anthony M. Kennedy, essentially said the tribunals violated U.S. law and the Geneva Conventions of 1949 because they didn't provide the safeguards that either civilian or military courts required.  Justice Kennedy further exclaimed, "Concentration of power puts personal liberty in peril of arbitrary action by officials, an incursion the Constitution's three-part system is designed to avoid," http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/politics/14933298.htm

After the rebuking by the Supreme Court, President Bush made a remarkable about face in agreeing to treat Guantanamo Bay detainees as prisoners of war and not as enemy combatants.   

          Our actions are watched around the world and we should be vigilant in our attempts to exemplify those very principals that we admire as our rights.  Why or how anybody could assume that the very ideals of liberty and justice are more deserved by us than those from other cultures makes no sense to me.  If we truly believe in the America that is represented by our flag and the people who proudly wave it then we should hope for the same rights, privileges and responsibility to be meted out fairly across the planet.  To say one thing and do another portrays us as the jack booted thugs that people living in undemocratic societies are possibly already way to familiar with. 

          Hey, I’m starting to feel better and I need to give two shout-outs!  First, Bob, a fellow class of 78 Tiger and college roommate is back in Iowa on vacation with his family.  We are hooking up tomorrow for dinner.  I can’t wait.  Second, Brenda and Ah-Zee, you guys aren’t right.  I had the chance to talk to Brenda today and she inquired of my health and somehow I was smooth enough to fit in the conversation that phlegm production was still a problem.  She told me her friend Ah-Zee calls phlegm “lung butter”… I found that so funny I just had to share.

          My babies turn 18 today!  Wow, I suppose my kids would argue that this birthday seems a bigger milestone to them than it does to me but they would be wrong.  So now they have all the legal status of adults and are able to partake in all the advantages and accountability that an adult legal status entails.  Well most things.  They still can’t go out in public and have a beer.  That’s okay with me kids because when I was 18 I could and I’m not sure but that I didn’t handle that so well.  The most important thing I can share with you on this milestone of a day is that you need always be true to yourself.  I’m so happy with the young adults you have become and know that no matter what life throws your way you already have the tools to deal with it.  Just look inside yourselves.  Have a wonderful birthday.  I wish I were with you.

 

Day three no cigarettes.  The Sav-A-Lot brand paper towels were ripping my nose to shreds and I had run out of Pepsi and figured if I am sick I might ought to be slurping some chicken noodle soup as it were.  So at about 4:00 PM… NO WAIT, that isn’t accurate.  At about noon I began the arduous process of the once simple tasks of putting on socks, and shoes and then my pants.  If you have been a long time reader you know that I did not get anything out of order in that last sentence.  http://redhogdiary.com/2006.05.07_arch.html#1147541476306 It took me about four hours to complete the task of getting dressed.  I didn’t want to rush it and I think were you to actually know how I am really feeling you would find that four hour dash of productivity commendable.  So, properly attired I waddled my way out to the truck for my first excursion into daylight since, since, well it seems like since forever.

          While out I needed to make a stop at the west side sub-station of the Cedar Rapids Post Office.  It is always a pleasure to stop in there.  These postal workers are the epitome of consistency.  It doesn’t matter how many people are lined up these postal clerks have only one speed.  Tortoise.  I don’t know how they do it.  I get embarrassed for them as I watch them methodically weigh and stamp mail passed across the counter and then accept payment and make change all at the same deliberate monotonous pace.  Maybe it’s because I have always worked for a real business that succeeds or fails on the merits of their customer service but I could never imagine being that indifferent to the clientele where I would not try to work a little faster during peak traffic hours.  Why haven’t we privatized the post office yet anyway?   Never mind, George hasn’t asked to privatize the post office because his rich friends must not think there is much money in it.

          But the God-Awful postal clerks were not the most annoying thing I saw at the post office in my fever induced delirium and intolerant nature.  I witnessed the most sniveling used up poor excuse for a man I had ever seen demand the attention of a supervisor.  He should have known that all you need to do to become a supervisor at the post office is to demonstrate more loathing and apathy for your customers than the others on your shift but I digress.  The sniveling used up poor excuse for a man told the supervisor, “I just thought you should know that either the turn signals are defective or the arm of your carrier is broken because he made a turn in front of me without giving a proper signal”  HUH?  The supervisor rolled her eyes a bit and told the man she would look into it and thanked him for the information.  He would have none of that.  He demanded she get pen and paper to write down the information he had written and he proceeded to unfold an 8 ½ by 11 sheet of scribbled notes of the heinous crime.  He had the vehicle number, the plate number and a description of the driver as well as the exact location of the alleged infraction.  The supervisor once again rolled her eyes and thanked the citizen for his report.  Satisfied, the sniveling used up poor excuse for a man turned spun on his heel to make his way out of the lobby.  His glib sneer of heroic tattle tale self content vanished quickly from his face as he looked up and the thirty patrons who were forced to endure that line just that much longer all glared at him at once communicating what a true asshole he was. 

          Gee, my writing is flowery and poetic when I am feverish and cigarette deprived.

         

          Sunday I said, “I ain’t dying or nothing” but I may have spoke too soon.  There were moments yesterday and all night last night where I wished I had been dead.  I will be the first to admit that when I get sick I turn into a big wienie but this particular bug was a butt kicker.  Having slept maybe a total of eleven minutes last night and still sporting a temp in excess of 100 yet this morning I opted to stay home from work.  I haven’t had a smoke in over 24 hours and I’m starting to get a bit cranky.  So what would I write about in an over-tired, sweating-chilled, fever induced state?  I suppose I could go off on a rant about how it torques me off when people drive with their fog lights on when it isn’t foggy.  What is up with that?  Maybe a post about the perils of drivers who don’t use turn signals is in order.  I might do a rant about how it makes me crazy to see dorks wearing shorts while riding their Harley’s.  Some things just shouldn’t be done and the shorts on Harley’s thing ranks right up there with me.  Nah, I’ll save that for another day.  For now, I’m going back to bed.

          NOOOOOO!  I developed a cough last night and figured its natures way of telling me to cut back on the old smokes for a day or two.  I can do that.  As the day wore on the cough had been getting a bit worse and I done don’t got no woman around to nursify me or nothing so I did the unthinkable.  I tuned into what my decrepit old body was trying to tell me, popped a couple Tylenol and took a dive for the recliner.  I woke up a few minutes ago and found it ironic that yesterday I had posted about needing cool water for a fever.  I was in a sweat and that isn’t easy to do in this house.  She who must be obeyed is over 1000 miles away and I am certain that she would have a conniption fit if she saw that her thermostat was not set at the requisite 76 degrees.  I have always preferred a 65 setting but don’t win that battle too often when she is home.  Recognizing the signs of a fever; I snagged the thermometer and its official: 101.5 degrees.  I ain’t dying or nothing but the fact that I actually went to the trouble to find a thermometer, figure out how to use it and actually get results is proof that my manly man thinker is off.  And why am I typing in hillbilly vernacular?  Must be the fever. 

          I’m thinking this would not be a good time to even think about dealing with any type of bug that involves a ten day round of anti-biotic.  I refuse to accept any such hindrance to the burst of productivity which will be required to get all of the work I normally do in a month completed in one week.  This is one of those crappy situations where; should I rise to the occasion and complete all my tasks there are bound to be people asking what I do the other three weeks of the month.  It is all pretty much complicated IT stuff and were this a technical blog I would fill you in a bit.  I’m not really sure what this blog really is any more but one thing I know for sure.  A technology blog it ain’t.  So I got that going for me.

          Catch ya tomorrow.